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quite possibly jaded

13 July
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A hundred times I wanted to kill myself, but I still loved life. This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most disasterous inclinations. For is there anything more stupid than to want to bear continually a burden that we always want to throw to the ground? To regard our being with horror, and to cling to our being? In fine, to caress the serpent that devours us untill it has eaten up our heart?
Get each passenger to tell you his story; and if there is a single one who has not often cursed his life, who has not often said to himself that he was the unhappiest of men, throw me into the sea headfirst.